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Old 02-25-2006, 07:00 AM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve The Queen
A bad beginning with a good ending is a bad story. I still stick by what I say when I said it needs revision. Just because you think it is amazing I think it needs depth, and emotion.

And I said I was going to improve on detail, dumbass. So techinically I am going to improve the story, so just shut up.
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Old 02-25-2006, 07:21 AM   #32
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Steve, dont be so inflammatory.
Honey, I think you need a bit more detail here and there. rework the story, k?
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Old 02-25-2006, 07:25 AM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chalice Myth
Steve, dont be so inflammatory.
Honey, I think you need a bit more detail here and there. rework the story, k?

How many times to I have to say it? I'M GONNA IMPROVE ON DAMN DETAIL!!
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Old 02-25-2006, 07:26 AM   #34
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Originally Posted by kelly
How many times to I have to say it? I'M GONNA IMPROVE ON DAMN DETAIL!!
0_0 OKAY OKAY!!! CALM DOWN!

Still, I love your story..
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Old 02-25-2006, 07:32 AM   #35
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Sorry, Chal. I blew up. But thanks.
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Old 02-25-2006, 12:17 PM   #36
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Originally Posted by kelly
Actually, I have read other stories on ZU and they seem to have just as much detail as mine, though I am improving on detail. And I never said I didn't write for the pleasure of writing. I meant if no one continues to read the story, it would be pointless to finish it. And how am I supposed to know if people are reading the story? They reply. Now at the beginning, I only had one reply and I put in five chapters just for the pleasure of it. After that, I got one more reply and then put in two more chapters. So I do write for the pleasure of writing, but not if people aren't going to read the story. That's what stories are for. Reading. And besides, if you say my story needs work now, just wait. There's still good stuff to come.
You can check the nifty "Views" number by the title. That's what I do. I still think it's kind of selfish to want reviews. Writing stories is supposed to be for enjoyment. I enjoy writing.

And, Steve the Queen, perhaps you could be a bit more tactful.
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Old 02-25-2006, 01:16 PM   #37
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Chapter nine! Yay!

Chapter Nine: Zora’s Domain or Lake Hylia?

Once Link made it to the river, he dismounted Epona and swam across. He got out and entered Zora’s River.
When there, he began following the river up to the entrance to Zora’s Domain. Along the way, he met up with some Octoroks, which he used his shield to defeat. When he got to the waterfall, Link remembered he had to play Zelda’s Lullaby to enter Zora’s Domain. He raised the Ocarina of Time to his lips and played the song. The waterfall opened and Link entered Zora’s Domain.
Link let out a sigh of relief. Last time he’d been in Zora’s Domain, it was frozen and the Zoras were gone. Now the place looked as if it never froze over at all.
Just as Link was about to head up to King Zora’s throne room, the Zora standing on the platform in the water noticed him.
“Link!” he called. “Thank goodness you’re back! The Zora princess is missing!”
“I know. That’s why I’m here”, Link replied.
“The King is upset that his daughter is gone, but you should go see him”, the Zora said.
“That’s what I was planning on doing”, Link said and started towards the throne room. When he got there, he saw King Zora looking very upset, just as the Zora had said.
“Link!” King Zora gasped as he looked up and saw Link standing on the platform. “Thank goodness! You’ve got to find Princess Ruto, please!”
“I will, but I don’t know whether she’s imprisoned around here somewhere or at Lake Hylia”, Link stated.
“We know she’s not here because one of the Zoras witnessed her kidnapping and said Ganondorf’s followers took her away from Zora’s Domain, probably to Lake Hylia”, King Zora explained. “Though I didn’t witness it, you’re lucky one of us did or else you would’ve had to search both here and Lake Hylia top to bottom for Ruto”.
“Yeah, that’s true”, Link replied. “Thanks for telling me. Lake Hylia’s not that big, so I’ll have found Ruto before you could say ‘Triforce of the Sacred Realm”.
Link left the throne room and started for the exit. When he got down to where most of the Zoras were, the Zora on the platform in the water noticed him again.
“Link, what did the King say?” the Zora asked. Link stopped.
“He said I should look for Ruto at Lake Hylia”, Link replied.
“Oh yeah, one of us witnessed her capture”, the Zora added. “You know, I’m probably more worried about her than the other Zoras, besides the King”.
“Heh, I bet you are. Bye”, Link said and left Zora’s Domain.
Once Link was back across the waterfall, he went back down the river, fending off Octoroks along the way. He then entered Hyrule Field.
When he was in the field, Link swam across the river and mounted Epona. He rode her along the path towards Lake Hylia. He was passing Lon Lon Ranch when all of a sudden a Guay dive-bombed him and knocked him off Epona.
“Ah!” Link yelped as he landed on his back. “Ooh, ow. I thought Guays were only in Lake Hylia and the Desert Colossus”.
“I guess they’re here now”, Navi replied.
“Oh no, where’d Epona go?!” Link gasped. Epona was gone.
“Play the song, Link”, Navi told him. Link nodded and raised the Ocarina of Time to his lips. The notes of Epona’s Song echoed through the field. Soon, Epona came back. Link mounted her again and continued towards Lake Hylia. Soon, Link spotted the entrance and made Epona speed up to jump the fences.
After Link entered Lake Hylia, he noticed the lake was completely dry. And since the river in Gerudo Valley flowed into the lake, he assumed that was dried up too.
“This is bad”, Link stated, worriedly.
“Yeah, we’d better hurry and find Ruto or Zora’s Domain might dry up too”, Navi agreed.
“I think it’s already starting to, but the Zoras haven’t noticed it yet”, Link added as he ran to the floor of the lake and began looking around. He walked around the whole lake, near the fishing pond, around the warp pad, and near the bridges. He met up with a few Blue Tektites along the way. Just as he was searching around the cliff where the Lakeside Laboratory stood on when he noticed something strange about the wall of the cliff. He went over to it and examined it. Soon enough, he felt a doorknob near the middle. A hidden door! Who would expect to find one camouflaged? Link opened the door and went in. He looked around. Link knew at once this was the Underground Water Dungeon.

Well? Do you like it?
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Old 02-25-2006, 02:25 PM   #38
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Not bad. Hope it stays so.

What are Guays? They´re not in the enemy list of OoT.
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Old 02-25-2006, 02:35 PM   #39
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Yes, they are. They're the bird things that fly around Lake Hylia and the Desert Colossus. You know, they're black with orange beaks.
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Old 03-04-2006, 04:54 AM   #40
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I think they appear in black and white in the Twilight Princess trailer..
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Old 03-04-2006, 11:16 AM   #41
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Well I didn´t say that they aren´t in the game,
but it doesn´t change the fact that they're not in the ZU list of OoT enemies.
Well, I guess I get the Idea.
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Old 03-04-2006, 11:30 AM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly
Chapter nine! Yay!

Chapter Nine: Zora’s Domain or Lake Hylia?

Once Link made it to the river, he dismounted Epona and swam across. He got out and entered Zora’s River.
When there, he began following the river up to the entrance to Zora’s Domain. Along the way, he met up with some Octoroks, which he used his shield to defeat. When he got to the waterfall, Link remembered he had to play Zelda’s Lullaby to enter Zora’s Domain. He raised the Ocarina of Time to his lips and played the song. The waterfall opened and Link entered Zora’s Domain.
Link let out a sigh of relief. Last time he’d been in Zora’s Domain, it was frozen and the Zoras were gone. Now the place looked as if it never froze over at all.
Just as Link was about to head up to King Zora’s throne room, the Zora standing on the platform in the water noticed him.
“Link!” he called. “Thank goodness you’re back! The Zora princess is missing!”
“I know. That’s why I’m here”, Link replied.
“The King is upset that his daughter is gone, but you should go see him”, the Zora said.
“That’s what I was planning on doing”, Link said and started towards the throne room. When he got there, he saw King Zora looking very upset, just as the Zora had said.
“Link!” King Zora gasped as he looked up and saw Link standing on the platform. “Thank goodness! You’ve got to find Princess Ruto, please!”
“I will, but I don’t know whether she’s imprisoned around here somewhere or at Lake Hylia”, Link stated.
“We know she’s not here because one of the Zoras witnessed her kidnapping and said Ganondorf’s followers took her away from Zora’s Domain, probably to Lake Hylia”, King Zora explained. “Though I didn’t witness it, you’re lucky one of us did or else you would’ve had to search both here and Lake Hylia top to bottom for Ruto”.
“Yeah, that’s true”, Link replied. “Thanks for telling me. Lake Hylia’s not that big, so I’ll have found Ruto before you could say ‘Triforce of the Sacred Realm”.
Link left the throne room and started for the exit. When he got down to where most of the Zoras were, the Zora on the platform in the water noticed him again.
“Link, what did the King say?” the Zora asked. Link stopped.
“He said I should look for Ruto at Lake Hylia”, Link replied.
“Oh yeah, one of us witnessed her capture”, the Zora added. “You know, I’m probably more worried about her than the other Zoras, besides the King”.
“Heh, I bet you are. Bye”, Link said and left Zora’s Domain.
Once Link was back across the waterfall, he went back down the river, fending off Octoroks along the way. He then entered Hyrule Field.
When he was in the field, Link swam across the river and mounted Epona. He rode her along the path towards Lake Hylia. He was passing Lon Lon Ranch when all of a sudden a Guay dive-bombed him and knocked him off Epona.
“Ah!” Link yelped as he landed on his back. “Ooh, ow. I thought Guays were only in Lake Hylia and the Desert Colossus”.
“I guess they’re here now”, Navi replied.
“Oh no, where’d Epona go?!” Link gasped. Epona was gone.
“Play the song, Link”, Navi told him. Link nodded and raised the Ocarina of Time to his lips. The notes of Epona’s Song echoed through the field. Soon, Epona came back. Link mounted her again and continued towards Lake Hylia. Soon, Link spotted the entrance and made Epona speed up to jump the fences.
After Link entered Lake Hylia, he noticed the lake was completely dry. And since the river in Gerudo Valley flowed into the lake, he assumed that was dried up too.
“This is bad”, Link stated, worriedly.
“Yeah, we’d better hurry and find Ruto or Zora’s Domain might dry up too”, Navi agreed.
“I think it’s already starting to, but the Zoras haven’t noticed it yet”, Link added as he ran to the floor of the lake and began looking around. He walked around the whole lake, near the fishing pond, around the warp pad, and near the bridges. He met up with a few Blue Tektites along the way. Just as he was searching around the cliff where the Lakeside Laboratory stood on when he noticed something strange about the wall of the cliff. He went over to it and examined it. Soon enough, he felt a doorknob near the middle. A hidden door! Who would expect to find one camouflaged? Link opened the door and went in. He looked around. Link knew at once this was the Underground Water Dungeon.

Well? Do you like it?
Hate to be a downer, but you said you would improve on detail, and yet you haven't at all. You probably shouldn't make false statements like that. And, Chalice Myth, those things in the TP trailer aren't Guays. Guays are basically crows.
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Old 03-07-2006, 09:36 PM   #43
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0.0 Those looked like giant crows to me o.0


-.- CANADA!!!!!!
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Old 03-22-2006, 06:20 AM   #44
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Quote:
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Hate to be a downer, but you said you would improve on detail, and yet you haven't at all. You probably shouldn't make false statements like that. And, Chalice Myth, those things in the TP trailer aren't Guays. Guays are basically crows.

Well, I thought I did put more detail. So I'm sorry, alright?

EDIT: I'm working on chapter ten so it should be up soon, and believe me, this chapter is pretty detailed at the boss battle part, since most of the dialogue is in the beginning. So stay tuned. Oh and by the way, the boss of this dungeon is nothing like you've seen in any Zelda game, not even OoT. You'll never guess what kind of creature it is.
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Old 03-25-2006, 02:40 PM   #45
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Sorry to keep you all waiting, but chapter ten is here!

Chapter Ten: The Underground Water Dungeon

“Yep, I was right, Navi”, Link said as he took another look around the main chamber. “This place resembles the Water Temple”.
“Yeah, you were right. This means Ganondorf isn’t making much of a difference in this time”, Navi replied.
“Hey, yeah, I never really noticed that”, Link said as he started walking around the room. Seconds later, he almost fell into a giant pool of water because he couldn’t see the edge quite clearly.
“Whoa! Holy geese, where’d all this water come from?!” Link gasped as he stood at the edge of the water.
“The lake maybe?” Navi wondered.
“You know what, I bet you’re right”, Link replied. “Looks like I’ll have to get into my Zora Tunic to get through it”. After Link changed, he dove into the water and noticed doorways at the bottom. He quickly put on his Iron Boots and sank down to the floor.
At the bottom, there were five doorways and Link had no idea which one he should go through first.
“Oh no, not the multiple-doorways-on-each-floor thing again”, Link complained. “I hate that”.
“I don’t blame you. That was confusing back at the Water Temple”, Navi added.
“Yeah, it was”, Link replied. “Well, let’s just pick a doorway and see what we find”. Link went through the doorway to his right. He walked through the tunnel until he came to another room filled with water. Link then switched his Iron Boots with his Kokiri Boots and swam up to the surface.
“You know something, Navi? It just occurred to me that the Water Temple wasn’t the only place where there were multiple doors on each floor”, Link stated.
“The Snowhead Temple was the other, right?” Navi guessed.
“Tatl told you every little detail of that journey, didn’t she?”
“It seems”.
“Speaking of Tatl, I told her something before we separated and I told her not to tell it to anyone”, Link said. “I hope she didn’t tell you”. Navi turned away.
“I-I think she did”, she said, nervously.
“Well, what did she say?” Link asked. Navi flew near Link’s ear and whispered something. Link was surprised.
“She did tell you! Oh, that fairy”, Link gasped. “Well, I guess telling you is a different story. You, I can trust”.
“I hate to tell you this, but it’s my fault she told me”, Navi admitted.
“What do you mean?”
“She was carrying something, but I couldn’t tell what it was because it was in a bag”, Navi explained. “I asked her where she was going with it and she said she was going to Hyrule. Then she spit out the secret and told me not to tell you she told me or else both of us would be in trouble with you”.
“Heh. Well, I’m not mad at either of you, so the both of you can stop worrying” Link replied. “To tell you the truth, I was actually expecting Tatl to tell you, if you two ever met”.
“Why am I not surprised?” Navi asked herself.
Link looked around the room. The first thing that caught his eye was a large treasure chest sitting on a platform at the edge of the water. He swam over to the edge of the platform and climbed out of the water.
“This must be our lucky day” Link said. “The map must be here”. He opened the chest to reveal the map.
“We sure did get lucky!” Navi added. Link looked at the map.
“Hmm, this dungeon doesn’t look as confusing as the Water Temple was”, Link stated.
“That’s good”, Navi replied.
Link and Navi continued their way through the dungeon, making sure to get the compass along the way. Twice they met up with mini bosses. The first one was, surprisingly enough, Dark Link. But this new version of Dark Link was tougher than the first one. The second mini boss was another dark figure, but this one was different. At first, Link couldn’t tell who the dark figure was an image of, but after looking at the figure’s shape, he realized who it was: Dark Kelli. His mouth fell open. He was so surprised, he dropped his sword. Link would’ve never expected to meet up with a dark version of Kelli. For how could Ganondorf possibly know about her?
Dark Kelli was a bit tougher than Dark Link, but after getting hit so many times, Link managed to take her out, almost collapsing from exhaustion in the end. Luckily, his wounds weren’t too serious.
A couple chambers later, Link made it to the room where the boss key resided. After he opened the chest it was in, he took a look at the map to recheck the location of the boss room. It was just up the stairs from where Link and Navi were now.
Once back up the stairs, Link swam to the platform where the door to the boss room was. He climbed out of the water and entered. Link found himself on a high platform, looking down at a large platform in the middle of a pool of water. There was something down there, but he couldn’t make out what it was. Link jumped off the high platform and landed in the middle of the big one. Just seconds after he landed, he heard something moving in the water. Suddenly, there was a huge splash of water just to his right and a huge lizard-like monster landed on the platform with a loud bang, making Link fall to the floor. The monster roared loudly and then dove back into the water.
“Whoa, what in the world is that?!” Link gasped. The monster kept swimming in circles around the platform.
“That’s Hydro, the Marine Nothosaurus”, Navi replied. “He’s tougher than he looks”.
“How do I defeat him?” Link asked. Hydro suddenly poked his head up at the edge of the platform.
“Quick! Hit him with the Megaton Hammer then slice him with your sword!” Navi yelled. Link immediately whipped out his Megaton Hammer and ran over to Hydro. He smashed Hydro in the head and sliced him with his sword. Hydro roared in pain. He then dove back into the water and continued circling the platform.
“Link, he’ll pop his head up at an edge of the platform occasionally. When he does, do what you just did”, Navi told him. Link nodded. While Hydro was circling the platform, Link looked around for Ruto. It took him awhile to realize her cell was under the water. Just as he noticed her, however, Hydro suddenly jumped on to the platform and slowly walked towards him. Link decided to try shooting an arrow at him. He quickly took out his bow and fired an arrow. It hit Hydro in the neck and he was stunned for a few seconds. It wasn’t enough time for Link to attack him, though. Hydro dived back into the water.
After awhile, Hydro was beginning to weaken. However, after Link had hit him with the Megaton Hammer the seventh time, Hydro didn’t go back to the water. Instead he raised his head a little bit and spit gallons of water at Link, making him fall to the floor before he could dodge it. The water was so cold, Link’s teeth were chattering when he got up. Despite the teeth chattering, however, Link hit Hydro with the Megaton Hammer once more and sliced him with his sword. Hydro suddenly stood up, roared loudly, and collapsed right at the edge of the platform. Just as he fell, the water surrounding the platform drained. Hydro then fell off the edge of the platform and landed on the floor. Suddenly, his blue, wet body dried up, leaving him looking like a dry whale.
Meanwhile, Ruto had watched the whole thing. Link, still shivering from the ice-cold water, quickly jumped down to her and fired a Light Arrow at the lock on the cell door. It opened and Ruto walked out.
“Link, you rescued me!” she exclaimed. Then she noticed Link’s shivering body. “Oh, you poor thing, you’re soaked from head to toe!”
“Y-yeah, I kn-know. Ruto, y-your f-father is w-worried about y-you”, Link replied, his teeth still chattering.
“No doubt about that”, Ruto said. “Oh, Link, I feel so grateful that I want to grant my eternal love to you!” Link suddenly stopped shivering and blushed, looking nervously at Ruto. He’d forgotten Ruto wanted to marry him.
“But I don’t think I can offer it anymore”, Ruto began. “After you left Hyrule, I found out you’d returned the Spiritual Stones to their rightful places. When I got Zora’s Sapphire back, I knew I had to break off the engagement”. Link let out a sigh of relief.
“But y-you’re g-glad to s-see me ag-gain, r-right?” Link asked. Ruto nodded.
“I am”, she said. “So here, take this diamond as a reward for saving me”. Ruto handed Link a blue diamond that had the water emblem on it. He was still shivering, even with the Water Diamond resting in his hand.
“Gee, you must be so cold, Link” Ruto said. “Let’s get out of here and see if we can’t get you dried off a little bit. That monster must have water-logged your head.”
“Yes, p-please”, Link replied. And with that, they climbed back up on the platform and entered the blue portal that had appeared earlier.

Well, how was it? Catch clues #2 and #3 in this chapter during the conversation between Link and Navi that's about Tatl. Oh and if you're wondering what a Nothosaurus is, it's a prehistoric reptile that lived millions of years ago during the age of the dinosaurs. It sometimes swam in the water, but also came on land to lay eggs and stuff.
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