The Legend of Zelda: Newfound Powers - Page 6 - Zelda Universe Forums
Zelda Universe Forums Home
Zelda

Go Back   Zelda Universe Forums > Community > Art & Writing > Fiction
Welcome, ---.
You last visited: Today at 02:21 PM
Private Messages: Unread 0, Total 0.
User CP FAQ Members List Calendar New Posts Quick Links Log Out

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
Old 05-19-2006, 03:13 PM   #76
StonyLonesome
Siggy made by me. Like it?
 
StonyLonesome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,055
Chapter sixteen! Now you all can find out where dungeon #6 is!

Chapter Sixteen: Where’s Rauru?

As Link and Nabooru landed next to the hut, Link noticed the sandstorm had died down. Now it was just a normal breeze blowing some sand around.
“Boy, am I glad that sandstorm’s gone”, Link remarked. “I could hardly see where I was going when I first came”.
“I bet”, Nabooru added. “Well, we’d better hurry and get back to the fortress”. Link nodded.
Through the desert they went, following the flags back to the river of sand. Once there, Link and Nabooru wondered how they would get across. Link took out his Longshot, but wasn’t sure how to get both him and Nabooru across.
“Got any ideas on this problem?” Link asked. Nabooru snickered.
“What do you call that in your hand?” she asked, sarcastically.
“A long hookshot, of course”, Link replied. “But how to get us both across with it, I don’t know”.
“Oh, for goddesses’ sake, give me that!” Nabooru ordered. She snatched the Longshot away from Link, aimed it at a crate on the other side of the sand river, and fired it. It hooked the crate, Nabooru flying across the river afterward. After she landed, she threw the Longshot back to Link. He caught it.
“You’re lucky that didn’t go in the river!” Link hollered and got himself across. Afterward, they entered the fortress grounds.
Gerudo’s Fortress was still in ruins, but the Leevers had vanished and all other signs of evil had gone. The guards were still patrolling, and some looking fatigued.
“Whoa, what in Hyrule did Ganondorf do to this place?!” Nabooru gasped, as she and Link were walking through the fortress grounds.
“Don’t know, but it looks like it’s going to take a lot of work to rebuild that fortress”, Link replied. Suddenly, some of the Gerudo guards saw them and started running towards them.
“Nabooru! Thank Nayru you’re back!” one said.
“You’re not going to believe what’s been happening here”, another said.
“Thanks for bringing her back, Link!” another said.
“No problem”, Link replied. “I need to go now, so I wish you luck on rebuilding the fortress!” He then left the fortress grounds and entered Gerudo Valley.
At the valley, Link saw the carpenters’ tent wasn’t there anymore, but the bridge over the river was still gone. He mounted Epona and was about to leap it when the patrolling Gerudo guard there noticed him.
“Link!” she hollered. “Is Nabooru back?”
“Yeah”, Link replied.
“Okay, I’ll go see her”, the guard said and entered the fortress grounds. Link then jumped the gap where the bridge would’ve been and left Gerudo Valley.
Once back in Hyrule Field, Link headed towards Hyrule Castle Town.
“Well, all we have to do is rescue Rauru then we can go rescue Zelda”, Link stated. Then all of a sudden, he remembered what he had to do to awaken Zelda. He had to kiss her.
“Yep”, Navi replied. Link wasn’t paying attention. He was feeling scared for once in his life. Scared of love and being loved. Why, he didn’t know. He just felt so nervous about kissing Zelda that he didn’t notice he was heading straight for a tree near Lon Lon Ranch.
“Link, look out for the—”, Navi shouted, but it was too late. Epona suddenly stopped and Link got thrown off.
“AAAAAH!! AH!” Link screamed as he went flying into the tree and was caught by his tunic on one of the branches. He just sat there hanging from it. Navi laughed so hard she was turning red.
“Navi!” Link shouted. “C’mon! Help me down before—” CRACK! The branch broke and Link fell to the ground. Navi laughed even harder.
“AAH!!” Link screamed as he fell and landed with a thud. “Uhhn”. Navi couldn’t stop laughing. Link got up off the ground and brushed himself off.
“Navi, you can stop laughing any day now”, Link said, sarcastically. Navi finally stopped.
“Sorry, Link. It was just so funny!” Navi replied. “I’m telling Kelli this!”
“Oh no you don’t!” Link remarked. “She’ll probably tease me about it!”
“Okay, fine”, Navi gave in. “Let’s just get moving”.
“That’s better”, Link added. He mounted Epona. “But wait, how do we know Rauru is somewhere beneath Hyrule Castle Town or the Temple of Time? He could be anywhere, considering the fact that we didn’t have to go to a dungeon to awaken him”.
“Good point”, Navi replied. “Let’s ask Kelli. She seems to know about everything that’s been going on since Ganondorf returned”.
“Good idea, I’ll talk to her right now”, Link agreed. “Maybe she knows a thing or two about Rauru’s whereabouts”. Link raised the Ocarina of Time to his lips and played the soft notes of Kelli’s Song. Soon, Kelli’s voice filled the air.
“Hey, Link!” she said. “What’s on your mind this time?”
“Um, Kelli, do you know anything about where Rauru might be?” Link asked.
“Glad you asked”, Kelli replied. “It just so happens that someone just told me, I think it was the lady from the Bombchu Bowling Alley, that she saw Ganondorf’s followers taking Rauru somewhere behind the Temple of Time”.
“Really?”
“You’d better believe it”.
“Well, thanks”.
“Anytime”. Kelli’s voice vanished.
Link continued heading towards Hyrule Castle Town. When there, he dismounted Epona and entered the ruins of the town. After dodging the Gibdos, he headed to the Temple of Time. When he got near the door, he walked around back. Link found himself in a forest. For once, he’d found a place in Hyrule he’d never been to before. He walked through the forest until he happened to come upon a tree that looked different from the others. Link examined it.
“Hmm, there’s something odd about this tree”, he said. He went and knocked on the tree’s trunk. “I knew it! It’s hollow!”
“That’s strange”, Navi added.
“I bet there’s a secret door here somewhere”, Link stated and felt around the tree trunk for a doorknob. He found none. Then he climbed the tree to a couple branches up.
“Be careful you don’t get yourself hung on a branch again!” Navi teased. She giggled.
“Very funny”, Link replied and continuing feeling around for a doorknob. He felt something on the tree’s left.
“Navi, I think I found one!” he gasped. He tried to turn it. Indeed it was a doorknob. Link opened the door and looked inside. It was dark and the inside of the trunk seemed to be bottomless.
“C’mon, let’s check this out”, Navi insisted. She accidentally bumped Link, causing him to lose balance on the tree branch and fall in the trunk.
“WAAAH!!” Link screamed as he fell through the dark hole and landed with a plop at the bottom. He found himself in a somewhat large, dark chamber. A few lit torches were situated around the room and a door was at the other end. Some Keese were flying in the air.
“Navi, I don’t believe it”, Link said. “But we found the Underground Light Dungeon inside a tree”.
“Now that is weird”, Navi replied.

Like it? the location of the dungeon is surprising isn't it? But now, only four more chapters till the whole story is finished!
__________________

Formerly known as kelly. My Zelda timeline theory: OoT-MM-TP-TWW-PH-TMC-FS/FSA-OoS/OoA-ALttP-LA-LoZ-AoL
View my Zelda fanfic "The Legend of Zelda: Newfound Powers" soon!
link: http://www.zeldauniverse.net/forums/...ad.php?t=39316

Proud member of the Nayru Clan!
StonyLonesome is online now Report Bad Post  
Old 05-19-2006, 04:23 PM   #77
coolcwer
Banned User
 
coolcwer's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Kokiri Forest
Posts: 193
Fairly... unoriginal but interesting anyway, I think this will be like inside the Deku tree
coolcwer is offline Report Bad Post  
Old 05-20-2006, 02:08 AM   #78
StonyLonesome
Siggy made by me. Like it?
 
StonyLonesome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,055
What is with you people and not liking the romance part?! Do you guys have a problem with ZeLink? One person not liking it is fine, but if it gets to like a few people out of the twenty something people who've read the story, then there's something wrong.

And about your comment, coolcwer, no it won't be like the Great Deku Tree. And the dungeon is not exactly inside the tree, but more underneath it.
__________________

Formerly known as kelly. My Zelda timeline theory: OoT-MM-TP-TWW-PH-TMC-FS/FSA-OoS/OoA-ALttP-LA-LoZ-AoL
View my Zelda fanfic "The Legend of Zelda: Newfound Powers" soon!
link: http://www.zeldauniverse.net/forums/...ad.php?t=39316

Proud member of the Nayru Clan!
StonyLonesome is online now Report Bad Post  
Old 05-20-2006, 08:16 AM   #79
coolcwer
Banned User
 
coolcwer's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Kokiri Forest
Posts: 193
I didn't mean it would be the Deku tree I just thought it might look like it
coolcwer is offline Report Bad Post  
Old 05-21-2006, 03:50 AM   #80
dark master
I like pie!
 
dark master's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 87
atleast I don't mind the romantic parts
__________________

[ *coughs*Farore is the best
dark master is offline Report Bad Post  
Old 05-24-2006, 09:57 AM   #81
StonyLonesome
Siggy made by me. Like it?
 
StonyLonesome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,055
Yeah, that's good...

Anyway, sorry the next chapter's taking so long, I usually don't get much chances to work on the story during the week.
__________________

Formerly known as kelly. My Zelda timeline theory: OoT-MM-TP-TWW-PH-TMC-FS/FSA-OoS/OoA-ALttP-LA-LoZ-AoL
View my Zelda fanfic "The Legend of Zelda: Newfound Powers" soon!
link: http://www.zeldauniverse.net/forums/...ad.php?t=39316

Proud member of the Nayru Clan!
StonyLonesome is online now Report Bad Post  
Old 05-28-2006, 07:39 AM   #82
Tasatsu
Oro?
 
Tasatsu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: In the mind of one
Posts: 228
Story is getting good..
Tasatsu is offline Report Bad Post  
Old 05-28-2006, 04:03 PM   #83
StonyLonesome
Siggy made by me. Like it?
 
StonyLonesome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,055
Thanks, Chalice!

You're sweet.
__________________

Formerly known as kelly. My Zelda timeline theory: OoT-MM-TP-TWW-PH-TMC-FS/FSA-OoS/OoA-ALttP-LA-LoZ-AoL
View my Zelda fanfic "The Legend of Zelda: Newfound Powers" soon!
link: http://www.zeldauniverse.net/forums/...ad.php?t=39316

Proud member of the Nayru Clan!
StonyLonesome is online now Report Bad Post  
Old 05-30-2006, 05:20 PM   #84
Lakayal
A Nominal Egg
 
Lakayal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Teh Rhode-Islandzor
Posts: 537
Send a message via AIM to Lakayal Send a message via MSN to Lakayal
Well, it's an okay story. Okay plot. Okay characterization. Okay setting. Okay description.

Since you seem to dislike criticism so much and don't take advice well, the Infamously Skeptical Critic Lakayal stoops to the one word description: Mediocre. Okay, not exactly mediocre. There's one definate thing that sets it apart, and in a very good way. The thing that sets it apart is that it has an insane amount of potential I think you just haven't tapped into yet.

But for now: The plot original but it seems to kind of drag. I mean, it has it's quirks. The Sun and Moon thing is new, and it has great potential, but the fact that you set it up in a way that it's supposed to be like a game, with dungeons and collect-a-gems restricts your plot. Suggestion: Focus less on the technical aspects of the dungeons, like how many stalfos or keese or whatever he killed, and more on character development. And if you simply must have dungeons, well, alone in the dark is a really great way to bring out some true-to-life character development in Link. You did that somewhat in the Water Temple, and it improved after that, becuase of the Shadow thing Kelli was around to increase dialogue, so that was good. Keep up the good work on that bit.

The characterization was absolutely horrendous in the beginning though improved somewhat. We learned more background information about Link. He really took a step up around the water temple, though, and the thing that got me interested was when he got a cold, the dialect you used, everything. Link's development is good, because most Links in fanfics are dull as dishwater. Kelli is characterized, though resembling a Mary-Sue a lot of the time. Better watch that one.

The setting is unoriginal, though there's not much more you can do about it at this point. OoT Link, OoT characters, seven years after OoT? Vair overdone. But I hope you keep writing, you seem to have some unique ideas and I'm excited to see what your next story will be like.

But really, your main problem- and I know you HATE hearing this, you've made that very clear- is the DETAIL. You say it has just as much as other stories on this site? Read recent stuff by authors like Hylian Lemon, Lone Wolf, Andurhil, Safer, and Power Shot, who I consider to be some of the best recent authors, and try to tell me your detail measures up to them.

You say you're adding detail, and you are, that's become clear- just, kind of in the wrong places. When they say "you need more detail" they mean you need more description. You have pretty good detail when it comes to fights- actually, your fight scenes are awesome; but between dialogue and scenes, that's where it's lacking. For instance, instead of:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chapter 11
“Kelli? You okay down there?” Link hollered. Kelli stood up and brushed herself off.
“Yeah, I think so”, Kelli replied. “You’d better get down here, there’s a cave opening”.
“Yeah, I can see it from here!” Link gasped. He started climbing down. When Link got to the bottom, he and Kelli entered the cave opening.
They found themselves inside a somewhat large room that looked rather ghostly. They knew at once it had to be the main chamber of the Underground Shadow Dungeon.

Try something more along the lines of:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Some Random Spur of the Moment Crap by Me
“Kelli? You okay down there?” Link hollered down into the pit to the crumpled mass on the pit floor that was his friend. His immediate reaction had been to help her, but he felt almost silly for asking as she confidently Kelli stood up and brushed some dirt off her clothes. She was the most capable girl he'd ever know.

“Yeah, I think so”, Kelli replied confidently squinting up at him and the surface world. She beckoned him down with a wave of her arm. “You’d better get down here, there’s a cave opening”.

“Yeah, I can see it from here!” Link said in wonderment. He was still a little tired from the parrying exercises, but excited to finally find a lead into the Underground Shadow Temple. He started climbing down; shakily, at first, but when he found his climbing legs, the going got easier. He was relieved to finally feel firm ground beneath him. Kelli smiled mischeviously at his disgraceful descent, but kept quiet as they entered the cave opening.
They found themselves inside a somewhat large room that could only be described as massive and ghostly, like a haunted catacomb from an old wives' tale. They knew at once it had to be the main chamber of the Underground Shadow Dungeon.

I know a lot of it seems frivilous but it's the little embellishments that enrich the story to star-quality.

Honestly, if you just added more description and cut back on description where it was unnecessary, and maybe reformatted some of the paragraphs, this story would be so much better. Hey, I'm not asking you to rewrite. Just for future reference. If you need help on detail, I'd suggest reading the works of the aforementioned authors, most of whom have works on the first or second pages of this forum. And if you ever find you're at a loss or having a writers' block, I'd be willing to help, no problem.

Okay, so, overall, the story is average...

...BUT!

It has POTENTIAL, and I mean every story has potential, but this one has immediate potential and I really believe that with the right amount of detail in the right places this story can be ten times better.

Sorry if the whole thing seemed a little bit too nitpicky, but I'm infamous for my critiques. I'm not trying to sound mean. You're a great writer, I can tell you have natural skill, you just need some direction and you'll be golden.

Happy writing!
__________________

***
Like writing fiction, fanfiction or poetry?
Grace us with your presence at
THE FICTION FOURM
Lakayal is offline Report Bad Post  
Old 05-31-2006, 11:36 AM   #85
StonyLonesome
Siggy made by me. Like it?
 
StonyLonesome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,055
I get what you're saying, but I'm a little confused. What do you mean my plot seems kind of a drag? And what do you mean by Kelli resembles a... what was it? Mary-Sue?

And you don't seem to get the idea of my setting. Let me explain. See, in OoT, when Link was an adult, true, it would bring the question of "Where would Kelli be at this time?" Well, I can't say yet, but I will be able to explain after I post the bonus story (which is a surprise story, by the way), because I don't want to spoil anything. But anyway, Link went through time in OoT, yes. At the end he went back to being a kid. Then he did the adventure in MM. Then after Link grows up AGAIN, my fanfic would occur. So this story happens seven years after MM, NOT OoT. Now, do you get the idea?
__________________

Formerly known as kelly. My Zelda timeline theory: OoT-MM-TP-TWW-PH-TMC-FS/FSA-OoS/OoA-ALttP-LA-LoZ-AoL
View my Zelda fanfic "The Legend of Zelda: Newfound Powers" soon!
link: http://www.zeldauniverse.net/forums/...ad.php?t=39316

Proud member of the Nayru Clan!
StonyLonesome is online now Report Bad Post  
Old 05-31-2006, 12:06 PM   #86
Lakayal
A Nominal Egg
 
Lakayal's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Teh Rhode-Islandzor
Posts: 537
Send a message via AIM to Lakayal Send a message via MSN to Lakayal
It's not that I don't get it. It's just that I don't think it's entirely the most original idea to set a story in.

When I say the plot drags, what I mean is this:

In the beginning, we've already learned what the plot is: Collect the gem thingies and defeat Gannondorf. Since we already know what the plot will be by chapter two, you give yourself very little time as an author to get us hooked. At that point we haven't been hooked to the plot, we've just sort of been... put there, with a little less exposition than would be comfortable. The plot moves along, but you've already told us too much about how it's going to unfold. By doing that, you lower our expectations and the excitement level drops. From there it becomes a little bit blah.

Okay, so, Mary-Sue... well, a Mary-Sue is a type of character that most authors unintentionally drop in their stories. They're usually intellectual, able-bodied, nice, funny, and most of the "good guys" like them. Mary-Sues are also often missing glaringly obvious character flaws, the things that people real; arrogance, selfishness, cockiness, timidity. Mary-Sues are the produce of either self-insertion (an author putting themselves as a character in the story) ignorance (an author not knowing a flawless character is a bad thing to have in a story) or by accident (an author gets so wrapped up in the story they forget to add essential human flaws to the story). I haven't really seen much real characterization on Kelli's part thus far, but she seems to be going down the path on which most authors put their Mary-Sues. Luckily, a Mary-Sue is extremely easy to fix, and though in the long run it's tough to deform your favorite characters, it saves the story a lot.

Hope I helped with the clarification...
__________________

***
Like writing fiction, fanfiction or poetry?
Grace us with your presence at
THE FICTION FOURM
Lakayal is offline Report Bad Post  
Old 05-31-2006, 12:35 PM   #87
StonyLonesome
Siggy made by me. Like it?
 
StonyLonesome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,055
I see, but I don't think Kelli's a Mary-Sue. She's not supposed to be me. She has some of my characteristics, but that doesn't mean she is me. She's nice, and of course the good guys will like her, she is a good guy (well in her case, good girl) herself.

But yeah, I see what you mean by my plot drags.

EDIT: But... just because you've heard Link gets all the diamonds and then defeats Ganondorf with Kelli, doesn't mean everything will go as planned, hehe.
__________________

Formerly known as kelly. My Zelda timeline theory: OoT-MM-TP-TWW-PH-TMC-FS/FSA-OoS/OoA-ALttP-LA-LoZ-AoL
View my Zelda fanfic "The Legend of Zelda: Newfound Powers" soon!
link: http://www.zeldauniverse.net/forums/...ad.php?t=39316

Proud member of the Nayru Clan!

Last edited by StonyLonesome : 06-01-2006 at 11:25 PM.
StonyLonesome is online now Report Bad Post  
Old 06-07-2006, 03:52 AM   #88
dark master
I like pie!
 
dark master's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 87
I want the other chapters!
__________________

[ *coughs*Farore is the best
dark master is offline Report Bad Post  
Old 06-10-2006, 07:30 AM   #89
StonyLonesome
Siggy made by me. Like it?
 
StonyLonesome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,055
No one's hooked to the story huh?

Anyway, I have a surprise for you! Chapter seventeen! Sorry this took so long, dungeon ideas were running short. But don't worry, I already know what's going on in the final dungeon. Well, enjoy!

Chapter Seventeen: The Underground Light Dungeon

As Link looked around the first room, killing occasional Keese that tried to dive bomb him, he noticed it looked somewhat like a huge underground cavern. Even the door at the other end of the room looked like something that would be in a cavern.
Once Link made it to the door, he entered. Inside, Link found himself on a raised platform above a pool of water. On the other side of the pool there was another platform and a door. Link was about to leap in the water to get to it when all of a sudden, a Stalfos dropped out of nowhere in front of him. Just before he was about to strike, Link noticed the Stalfos had yellow eyes. He whipped out his bow and started firing Sun Arrows at it. Three hits with them took out the armed skeleton.
Afterwards, Link leaped into the water and swam across to the door. He entered. In the room, Link met up with two Dinolfos. He drew the Moon Sword, noticing these monsters were moon. Three strikes each took them out. However, one of them made Link fall to the floor and nearly struck him. Thanks to the sideways rolling Link learned from Kelli, he was able to get out of the way.
“Boy, that was close”, Link said, relieved.
“I’ll say!” Navi added.
“Now, I’m real glad Kelli taught me the parry and sideways rolling”, Link commented. “Gee, what could I do without her?”
After the Dinolfos were defeated, a large treasure chest appeared nearby on a slightly raised platform.
“Navi, look!” Link cried. “I’ll bet anything that’s the map!” He ran to the chest. He opened it to reveal the map, but a different kind of map than what he’s used to using. Instead of the map being a light brownish color, it was a reddish brown color and the rooms and doors looked slightly different, not to mention a little smaller than what they seemed to be.
“Oh great”, Link grumbled. “What kind of map is this? I can’t tell what’s a door and what’s not! And I can’t tell which room is which either”.
“Hmmm…” Navi replied. “Let me see”. She flew above the paper Link was holding.
“Well, Navi?”
“It’s an evil map”.
“A what?!”
“An evil map”, Navi repeated. “Villains make those to confuse the good guys and get them lost”.
“Ganondorf must have done this to confuse me then”, Link concluded. “And he’s doing a pretty good job of it, too!”
“Yeah. But why he didn’t think of this last time, I don’t know”, Navi replied. “But even I can’t figure out those maps”.
“You can’t either?! This is just great!” Link almost shouted. “Now we’re stuck in a dark dungeon with a map that we can’t even figure out!”
“Link, get ahold of yourself!” Navi replied. “We’ll eventually get the hang of it”.
“I hope you’re right”, Link added. “Because until then, we’ll have to try to figure out this place on our own”.
“I know”, Navi commented. “But there appears to be a lot of rooms on that map. You think we can do this?”
“Well, we really don’t have a choice, now do we?” Link replied.
“Since you put it that way, let’s move on”, Navi said, willingly. Link nodded. They went to the next room.
After awhile, Link came across the compass, which was also evil. It made little yellow dots appear on the map, which Link suspected were treasure chests. He tried his best to figure out the map, but it was still stumping him in certain areas. After getting lost about five or six times, Link finally figured out the map, and noticed that the dots were treasure chests, what markings were doors, and which rooms were which.
“Navi, I think I got this crazy map figured out!” Link exclaimed.
“Really?” Navi replied, a little surprised.
“Yeah, these dots here are treasure chests”, Link explained. “And these strange markings on the walls of the rooms are the doors. I also think I know which room is which, depicting on the size and shape of the room”.
“Hmm, I think you’re right”, Navi concluded. “Now we can’t get lost anymore”.
“That’s for sure”, Link added. He entered the next room, which by now he was looking for the boss key.
Inside, the room was circular, except for some bars at the end, which behind them sat the chest that held the boss key. Link noticed it, but as he walked towards it, he heard a roar. He suspected it might be more Dinolfos, which he had to fight two pairs already, but it wasn’t. It was something bigger. Something stronger. It jumped out of nowhere in front of Link. His eyes widened with surprise. He’d never seen a monster like this before. It was a dinosaur-like creature with the long sticky tongue of a Lizalfos. It seemed to be a combination of both a Dinolfos and Lizalfos.
The monster started towards Link with its weapon, swinging its long whiplash tail. The monster struck, but Link held up his shield and blocked it. Suddenly, Link noticed its red eyes, meaning it was a moon monster. Link kept trying to attack the monster, but it countered his attacks, as well as Link countering back.
“Navi, what is this thing and how do I attack it?” Link asked. “I’m really getting tired of holding up my shield here”.
“It’s a Lizadinolfos”, Navi replied. “A combination Dinolfos and Lizalfos”.
“Just as I suspected!” Link exclaimed. “Now attacking it is?”
“Okay, this is a little complicated, but I think you’ll get the idea”, Navi began. “Don’t attack it if it tries to strike you with its sword, attack its tail when it tries to swing it at you”.
“I get it now”, Link replied. “Its tail is unguarded while everything else is”.
“Exactly”, Navi added.
A few seconds later, the Lizadinolfos attempted to strike Link with its tail. Link dodged it and gave it a slice with the Moon Sword. The monster roared a short roar, nearly losing its balance from being hit. Link then continued blocking the Lizadinolfos’s sword attacks and eventually gave it one more hit in the tail. However, just after Link had struck the tail for a second time, the Lizadinolfos suddenly spit its tongue at Link and rapped it around his neck. Link screamed.
“AAH!! NAVI!!” Link yelped. He was beginning to choke when the monster suddenly used its tongue to throw him to the ground.
“AH!” he screamed as he hit the ground. “Oww”.
“Link you gotta dodge that tongue!” Navi told him.
“Well, why didn’t you say that in the first place?” Link said back.
“I forgot about the tongue”, Navi replied. “Sorry”.
After Link got up, he continued fighting the Lizadinolfos, remembering to dodge the tongue, block the sword attacks, and slice the tail. After four more strikes at the tail, the monster finally fell and the bars in front of the area where the boss key’s chest sat rose.
“Alright!” Link exclaimed. He ran to the bright blue and yellow chest and opened it to reveal the boss key. He then opened the map to check the location of the boss room.
“Now let’s see where that boss—what in Hyrule…?!” Link nearly shouted.
“What’s wrong?” Navi asked.
“The stupid compass doesn’t tell you where the boss room is!” Link shouted. “Great. First we can’t figure out the map and compass, now we don’t know where the boss room is!”
“What, you didn’t realize this before?” Navi protested.
“No”, Link admitted. “I guess I should have”.
“That’s okay”, Navi replied. “Well, I guess we better start looking”.
“Wait a minute…I think I remember seeing the door somewhere…” Link stated. “Yeah, I have seen it!”
“Where?”
“In this room here”. Link showed Navi one of the rooms on the map.
“But that’s one floor above us!” Navi exclaimed.
“I know, but that’s where I saw the door to the boss room”, Link assured her. “I’m sure of it”.
“Well, alright”, Navi said as they left the mini boss room.
Inside, Link took a peek at the map to see where they were supposed to go back to the first floor. As he looked, he noticed something about the room he was in that he never noticed before.
“Navi, the map says there’s supposed to be a hidden staircase somewhere in here”, Link stated.
“Yeah, you’re right!” Navi replied, also taking a peek at the map.
“Let me try the Lens of Truth”, Link said as he pulled it out. “Maybe it’s behind a fake wall”. He looked through it. Sure enough, the staircase was behind a hidden wall that was right in front of them. Link went down it. They found themselves right near the boss room door.
“Well what do you know?” Link said, surprised. “That staircase led us right to the door!”
“Lucky us”, Navi added. They entered the boss room.
Inside, the room was almost square, with a Triforce mark in the middle of the floor. Inside the middle of the Triforce mark, there was a sun mark like the symbol on Kelli’s shield. When Link noticed it, he immediately suspected the boss was going to be a sun monster, which meant the Sun Arrows were going to play a major role in this battle.
Link began walking towards the center of the room, keeping an eye out for Rauru and wondering what kind of monster could be in here. Once Link was just inches away from the sun mark, it started glowing, and he heard something laugh a slow evil laugh. He looked around, but he found nothing. Suddenly, what looked like a knight on horseback appeared floating in the air in front of Link.
“What is this, another Phantom Ganon?” Link wondered out loud.
“Why no, I am not”, the knight answered. “The name’s Goge, and if you wish to challenge me, so be it!” Goge started flying through the room on his horse, holding a lance.
“Link, he’s the Phantom Knight!” Navi exclaimed. “Goge’s fighting is somewhat like a normal knight’s, except he’s a phantom and also uses evil sun magic attacks!”
“I get the idea, but can you tell me more about how I can attack him?!” Link replied as he blocked Goge’s first attack.
“Kill his horse first”, Navi instructed. “Do it with the Sun Arrows. I’ll explain more afterward”. Link nodded. He then took out his bow and fired a Sun Arrow, but Goge dodged it, making it miss the horse.
“Well?” Link said to Navi. “How in Hyrule am I supposed to hit that horse?”
“Try hitting it when Goge tries to hit you”, Navi replied. “As you’re dodging the attack, fire the arrow”.
“Ah, I see”, Link commented. Goge tried to attack again. Link dodged it and fired another Sun Arrow. This time, it hit the horse and it neighed loudly in pain. Goge then started to just float around the room, still facing Link. A couple minutes later, Goge attempted to attack Link again. He dodged it, and fired another Sun Arrow at the horse. It nailed it right in the chest as it neighed loudly in pain again.
Link continued the process of hitting the horse. After four more hits, it was finally killed, and Goge descended to the floor, hovering just a couple feet above it. He then transformed his lance into a sword and shield.
“Link, this is the hard part”, Navi warned. “You need to sword fight him now”.
“That I’ll do”, Link replied. Goge started attacking again. His speed was confident, as Link nearly couldn’t dodge the sword fast enough. He also couldn’t be quick enough to throw one of his own attacks. A few minutes later, Link had an idea. Once he was close enough to Goge, he used the parry attack and smacked him right in the shoulder. He was stunned. Link then fired a Sun Arrow at him. It hit Goge right in the chest and he yelped. Suddenly, Goge flew towards Link and fired a magic attack at him. He couldn’t dodge it fast enough and it threw him on the floor.
“AAH!” Link screamed as he hit the floor. “Geese, this guy’s fast”.
“That’s what makes him hard, Link”, Navi stated.
“Exactly my point”, Link added. He dodged more attacks and parried Goge again, quickly firing another Sun Arrow afterward. Once again, it hit him in the chest and he screamed.
Link continued the parrying process. As he did, he thought of Kelli. Gee, if it wasn’t for her, I’d be dead meat by now, he thought. Oh how I long to learn more from Kelli. She’s just too much of a life saver.
After six more strikes with parries and Sun Arrows, Goge finally fell. As the last Sun Arrow struck him, he let out a loud scream, which grew fainter as he descended to the floor.
“No…” he almost whispered. “It…it can’t be…CURSE YOU!!” After he said his last words, Goge disappeared as a phantom would.
Having used a lot of energy to defeat the evil Phantom Knight, Link was exhausted. His arms were tired and his legs were very tired, having parried so much. He wondered how even Kelli could handle this.
After nearly falling on the floor from exhaustion, Link suddenly remembered he still hadn’t found Rauru’s cell. He looked around the room for it, but he couldn’t find it. Suddenly, he heard a voice cry out from somewhere in the room.
“Link!” the voice cried. Link looked around, trying to find out where the voice was coming from.
“Link!” the voice cried again. “Link, up here!” Link looked up to see Rauru’s cell high on an elevated platform. He smacked his forehead.
“Oh goddesses”, he groaned. “How in Hyrule am I supposed to get up there? I don’t see a hookshot point”.
“Maybe it’s invisible”, Navi suggested. “We’ve found those before”.
“Maybe”, Link added as he pulled out the Lens of Truth. He looked through it and saw a hookshot point just next to the door of Rauru’s cell. He took out his Longshot while still looking through the lens, and fired it up there. After getting up there and putting both the Lens of Truth and the Longshot away, he took out his bow and fired a Light Arrow at the lock on the door. Rauru stepped out. Just as he did, Link suddenly noticed a switch sitting on the floor inside the cell. He quickly ran in and pressed it. It made a ladder appear by the platform, leading back down to the floor. Link then ran back out of the cell. Rauru made a nod.
“Link, thank you for getting me out”, he said. “It is well that you have returned to Hyrule after such a long time away”.
“Yes, I’m glad to be back”, Link commented. “How did Ganondorf come back?”
“That, no one knows”, Rauru replied. “What I do know is somehow, the seal of the Sacred Realm failed and he resumed his evil designs, still wielding the Triforce of Power”.
“Oh”, Link said, sort of disappointed. “I thought if anyone knew how Ganondorf returned, it would be you, besides Ganondorf himself”.
“I see”, Rauru commented. “But Link, you must act quickly if you are to get to him in time to rescue Princess Zelda. If he finds out you have the Ocarina of Time and she doesn’t, it will be devastating”.
“I know, but how would he find out if I had it?” Link asked.
“His followers could see you with it and tell him”, Rauru went on. “There’s only one person who could sense if any of them or any other danger is nearby, stalking you without you knowing”.
“And who might that be?” Link wondered. He had a pretty good idea of who, but he wanted to make sure.
“Kelli”, Rauru replied. “She has the ability”.
“I knew it!” Link exclaimed. “It’s one of her mysterious powers”.
“Exactly”, Rauru added. “I know I shouldn’t be the one telling you this, but I thought you should know because of what I just told you about Ganondorf”.
“I see”, Link commented. “I’ll be sure to keep that in mind”.
“Good. Here, take this diamond as a reward for freeing me”, Rauru said and handed Link a bright yellow diamond that had a slight glow. Having finally gotten the Light Diamond, Link new he’d obtained the final sage diamond.
“Link, it is well we have gotten all six diamonds”, Navi stated. “We must return to Kelli at Kakariko Village”.
“Right”, Link remarked. He and Rauru started down the ladder single file. At the bottom, they entered the blue portal that had appeared on top of the sun and Triforce marks.

Well? Link has finally gotten all the sage diamonds and is ready to take on Ganondorf! Just three more chapters till the story's done!
__________________

Formerly known as kelly. My Zelda timeline theory: OoT-MM-TP-TWW-PH-TMC-FS/FSA-OoS/OoA-ALttP-LA-LoZ-AoL
View my Zelda fanfic "The Legend of Zelda: Newfound Powers" soon!
link: http://www.zeldauniverse.net/forums/...ad.php?t=39316

Proud member of the Nayru Clan!
StonyLonesome is online now Report Bad Post  
Old 06-14-2006, 07:51 AM   #90
StonyLonesome
Siggy made by me. Like it?
 
StonyLonesome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,055
Aw c'mon! You people wanted the chapter and you got the chapter.

I'd like to know if you liked my unique ideas for this dungeon. Evil map and compass, Lizadinolfos, Goge the Phantom Knight, and the dungeon being cavern-like. Now weren't those cool ideas?
__________________

Formerly known as kelly. My Zelda timeline theory: OoT-MM-TP-TWW-PH-TMC-FS/FSA-OoS/OoA-ALttP-LA-LoZ-AoL
View my Zelda fanfic "The Legend of Zelda: Newfound Powers" soon!
link: http://www.zeldauniverse.net/forums/...ad.php?t=39316

Proud member of the Nayru Clan!
StonyLonesome is online now Report Bad Post  
Closed Thread



Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may post attachments
You may edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:47 PM.

Powered by vBulletin Version 3.5.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Archive Links: General Zelda | NES/SNES Zelda | N64 Zelda | Game Boy Zelda | GameCube Zelda | Twilight Princess
Contact Us - Zelda Universe - Archive - Top
Zelda Universe Main Page In-depth Zelda Articles Zelda Theories and Analyses Discuss everything in our Zelda Community Your Questions, Our Answers Search Zelda Universe Zelda Media Gallery